As I come closer to achieving my goals, and walking new paths in life that define the true meaning of an independent woman. I am coming to the realization that I may never want to get married, may never want anymore children, and may leave my life old, grey and single. None of that will matter to me as long as I am happy throughout my life. I know I would rather leave happy and single, than married and miserable (wondering, what if?)
The human race is very instinctive, and generations are changing as life goes on. Men think with one head, as women think with the other. And this is all natural, God's image, our genetic make-up, however you want to call it, I suppose.
But, we all still want the company of another person that we can care about, that isn't a childhood friend or family member. I can see myself being successful in my career, with or without a partner in crime. But I know I would still want the companionship that this industry has given me. I do not need a boyfriend to obsess over, to cause unnecessary drama, or to get upset/jealous towards me. I would simply want to live my life, and still have someone that I can care about, share physical, emotional, and mental intimacy with, be faithful with by our own terms and agreements (not how society wants people to be), that person would listen to me vent yet wouldn't get upset when I say something bluntly honest... and vise versa. Someone that I could call when I get a flat tire, and would know what to do while I am in panic mode on the side of the road. Someone that will watch a movie with me, even if they have already seen it, and won't give spoiler alerts. Someone to give the boyfriend feeling, without actually being exclusive so no drama gets in the mix.
I dont know what else I would call that person besides one client. These are the sessions I enjoy in this industry. People confuse companions with prostitution, when in all reality it is ever so different to me. I have met some of the greatest people I know today by being a companion to them, and I am proud to call them genuine friends. I have met some miserable people, and just enjoyed making them smile to the point it hurts them to smile due to lack of doing it. I've learned I do not want to grow up and forget what smiling is like.
I do not want a husband to grow old with, if it is going to feel as if the relationship has been strained or tainted for a long time. Instead, when I get towards the end of this career and the start of my new one, I want just one client that I will see regularly. :) Everything will remain the same as it has always been except I will be limited to just one, there will still be financial benefit (so feelings don't go overboard) and we will both live not only happy, but satisfied with life.
Yeah.... that's what I want.